Monday marked 10 years since I moved to NYC. 10 years of this city
Of afternoons spent on blankets in Central Park
Of being surrounded by other languages
Of fire hydrant sprinklers in the summer
Of people having their weirdest moments out loud to an audience of a million people who don’t turn their heads.
Of being annoyed by large groups who talk too loud on the subway
Of being one of those people
Of people crying in public
Of being one of those people too
Of acceptance through anonymity and sometimes through love.
Of things I never would have tried
Of being able to get any kind of food at any time of day
Of getting stuck behind tourists who are three people wide on the sidewalk
Of “it’s a grid”
Of walking up escalators
Of catcalling
Of getting too used to seeing people struggling on the street.
Of trial by fire fashion week
Of “We’re holding the show until Oprah gets here.”
Of dirt or tan line?
Of fake moustached solidarity in a male dominated industry
Of seeing the city from the top of world trade after the planes took it down
Of being paid to hang in some of the coolest venues in the world
Of Seth, and Jimmy, and SNL shoots on the street
Of scissor lift driving pride
Of trust
Of collaboration
Of doing what I love and making a living I never thought I'd make.
Of missing my family
Of “ yes of course you can stay with me but it's just an air mattress”
Of making family
Of Fourths of July spent on rooftops
Of dressing up for Halloween being acceptable for adults
Of kids trick or treating between bodegas
Of fireworks all of July
Of avoiding SantaCon
Of Christmas trees saluting from sidewalks in December, stuffed in small apartments, and then lining the sidewalk, exhausted, come January.
Of traffic underscoring dinner on the sidewalk
Of showtime
Of doubleball baseball days
Of getting ready to go out at 11pm
Of chanting “New York is blue” to soccer players in a baseball stadium
Of hearing the music and conversations of people I’ve never met through the walls of my own home
Of whiskey on the fire escape after escaping a crowded party through the window
Of kissing strangers.
Of island-long conversations with yellow cab drivers
Of solo dinners
Of writing in bars
Of “What’s your favorite thing?”
Of being alone surrounded by a million people
Of being home among strangers
Of learning who I am.
Of always getting on the wrong ramp in New Jersey
Of cocktails under hair dryers and dancing under disco balls sandwiched between friends and strangers
Of knowing where the secret bathroom is
Of traffic underscoring dinner on the sidewalk
Of showtime
Of transporting things that are too big on the subway
Of getting ready to go out at 11pm
Of chanting “New York is blue” to soccer players in a baseball stadium
Of hearing the music and conversations of people I’ve never met through the walls of my own home
Of a golden globe setting perfectly between two buildings
Of a skyline that calls my name
Of burrata hunting and brunch brunch brunch
Of comedy shows and 2 drink minimums
Of falling in love with a new band and realizing they're local (okay, in Brooklyn)
Of the Empire State building lit up in team colors
Of the short bus rides to Jersey
Of dating boys who “didn't know Manhattan went above 90th St” and fixing their “impossible” doorknobs with a couple twists of a screwdriver
Of moving out of a room filled with another person's things
Of interview after interview for mediocre rooms in 4 bedroom apartments.
Of layers and layers of paint
Of a giant living room for murder mystery parties, movie nights, and fighting about decorative honey jars and who hasn't done the dishes.
Of 6 friends promised pizza showing up to move a $50 couch that turned out to be light enough for 2.
Of moving 7 blocks down the street riding a couch precariously balanced on a dolly
Of trying not to own too much
Of finally spending real money on a mattress
Of free on the street finds
Of bed bug fear
Of bathroom ceilings that fall in
Of packing my room into giant trash bags with a broken wrist.
Of moving, again
And staying.
And owning too much.
Of an apartment all to myself
Of not giving it up when I got a job across the country.
Of meeting my best friends
Of stumbling out of bars at 4am
Of birthdays in parks and bars filled with arcade games
Of finding bowling that doesn’t have a dress code
Of being able to see great or terrible art anytime
Of never having to say “sorry I can’t, I’m driving.”
Of ending up in the wrong borough on a train.
Of expresses gone local even though some people DO work on the weekends, ya know?
Of the deli guy who knows my order and my work schedule
Of double parked cars
Of honking
Of changing my outfit in a cab
Of sunset through the GWB skimming across the Hudson.
Of people’s big dreams
Of mine
Of layers and layers of paint
And buildings that always point me straight up to the sky
Of a new appreciation for fresh air, giant grocery stores, and stars
Of the Hudson blurring past on the way to a hike “upstate”
Of fall leaves
Of roadtrips
Of leashed dogs and tight faced owners
Of the glory/envy of a backyard or unit washer/dryer.
Of hand washing dishes
Of the fucking mta
Of the gasp I feel when my favorite tree all of a sudden turns bright pink in the spring.
Of my dog curled in my lap asleep at the bar.
Of that smell in the summer.
Of air conditioner or bird shit?
Of subway cars all to myself
Of falling in love
Of pulling chicken bones out of my dogs teeth
Of spending too much on Uber
Of trying to make art and a living
Of never running out of new places to try but always going to the same places
Of an hour on the train to see friends who “also live in NYC”
Of wanting to leave and start a commune
Of not being able to imagine myself anywhere else.
Happy 10 Years, my dear.
New Yorkers, what are your favorite or least favorite parts of the city? What did I miss?
All photos are my own, check out more on my instagram if you’d like @instastephpf
Just sent this to Cary who wants to be a stage actor after college.